Got Healthy Self-Love?

healthy-self-love

 

“A healthy self-love means we have no compulsion to justify to ourselves or others why we take vacations, why we sleep late, why we buy new shoes, why we spoil ourselves from time to time.  We feel comfortable doing things which add quality and beauty to life. ”  Andrew Matthews

 

By | 2017-03-04T14:39:01+00:00 March 4th, 2017|Miscellaneous mattiness|0 Comments

Speak your Truth.

Why do we feel terrible when we begin standing up for ourselves?

People pleasers are so use to staying silent, accepting abusive and critical verbal abuse that speaking our mind feels unnatural and uncomfortable.  Going along with the general consensus, and not making waves was our MO for so long we believed this to be normal.

During recovery from doormatism, it’s hard to speak our truth. But we must learn how to despite possible residual negative feelings.  The moment the words are spoken we may start traveling down the river of doubt. Then perhaps, turn in ourselves, beating our self up with false beliefs of unworthiness.   And then our most self destructive behavior: forgetting WHY we spoke our truth in the first place.  Forgetting we have the right to defend ourselves without guilt, shame or concern if we’ve upset our abuser is detrimental.

The good news is: our level of uncomfortableness fades the more we practice self care.

Stand up, speak out without guilt or shame.

#offthefloor

 

Anyone ever feel like this?

Anyone ever feel like this?

By | 2016-10-02T09:51:57+00:00 October 2nd, 2016|Miscellaneous mattiness|4 Comments

“Between the Covers”

In August I was interviewed on Between The Covers.  I had a wonderful time on the half hour television show dedicated to interviewing authors.  The episode airs on September 30th & October 1st.  I’m very excited and hope you’ll tune in or click here to view on line – http://www.pbs.org/video/2365847545/

Between The Covers airs in West Palm Beach and all of South Florida on WXEL PBS, on Sept. 30th at 5:30 pm & Oct. 1st at 10.00 am.  Wxel promopromo-for-btc

By | 2016-09-12T12:52:35+00:00 September 12th, 2016|"My Life as a Doormat" Book|0 Comments

Stress Triggers

Button pushersWe all know people who are masters at pushing our buttons. Most are family members and close friends. They aren’t toxic but cause enormous stress. They’re well-meaning but their good intentions are counterproductive to our needs and elevate our stress level.

Knowing WHO these people are, then keeping a safe distance (especially in stressful situations) is one way to manage their good intentions.

By | 2016-08-16T10:25:12+00:00 August 16th, 2016|Miscellaneous mattiness|5 Comments

Summer Event Schedule

Calling all Florida Doormats:

I’m very excited for my first TV interview!  If you live in Florida, or are in the area, please come be a part of the studio audience during the taping.  See poster below  for details then call 561-536-1687 to RSVP.

Use this one for FB8_n See the promotional video at https://www.facebook.com/plugins/video.php?href=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.facebook.com%2FWXELTV42%2Fvideos%2F10154305469003447%2F&show_text=0&width=560

 

 

By | 2016-07-03T13:15:30+00:00 July 3rd, 2016|"My Life as a Doormat" Book|0 Comments

Stress, Anxiety and Depression

 

One of the biggest challenges of people pleasing, approval addicts is saying ‘no’ because we don’t want to let anyone down.  Instead of speaking our truth and letting our needs known, we accommodate.  We wind up in uncomfortable situations, surrounded by people we don’t want to be around, doing things we’re not interested in. We appease others because disappointing anyone terrifies us.  We want everyone to be happy, and negate our own personal happiness in the process.

We may be unaware of the tremendous price we’re paying by being a ‘yes person.’ Stress, anxiety and depression are byproducts of people pleasing.  By avoiding conflict at all costs we might stave off a disagreement. But by keeping the peace we cause a damaging war inside ourselves.

Please remember this the next time you say yes when you really mean no. Or stay silent when you need to speak up. Stress and anxiety

By | 2016-06-28T22:13:58+00:00 June 28th, 2016|Miscellaneous mattiness|0 Comments

10 Benefits of Ditching Doormat Behavior

10 Benefits of ditching doormat behavior Admitting you have doormat tendencies  or full blown doormatism is the first step of becoming a recovering doormat.  CONGRATULATIONS.  In case you need further incentive to remove toxic people and situations from your life and stand up and speak out, I hope this 10 benefits of ditching doormat behavior  inspires you.

By | 2015-12-20T14:01:43+00:00 December 20th, 2015|Miscellaneous mattiness|0 Comments

Three Years and Still Standing

Today I’m celebrating the third year anniversary of The Society for Recovering Doormats. Many thanks to all who visit, share and promote .  Thanks to your viewership we are stronger than ever.  Many have told me how much my page has helped them grow and heal. Dear friends,  it is a very symbiotic relationship , as I too have grown and appreciate each and everyone of you beyond words.

Love, Rose Gardner;  founding member, creator, and admin.still standing

By | 2015-10-23T18:21:42+00:00 October 23rd, 2015|Miscellaneous mattiness|2 Comments