Got Healthy Self-Love?

healthy-self-love

 

“A healthy self-love means we have no compulsion to justify to ourselves or others why we take vacations, why we sleep late, why we buy new shoes, why we spoil ourselves from time to time.  We feel comfortable doing things which add quality and beauty to life. ”  Andrew Matthews

 

7 Ways To Stop Obsessing and Feeling Stuck

 

Obsessing  doesn’t have a positive outcome, yet it’s one of the top ten behaviors all people pleasing doormats engage in.  The only thing ruminating will do is get and keep us stuck.  Repeating the same thought over and over, without a solution renders us powerless and stagnant.

If you’re feeling stuck, please read these 7 suggestions for  un-sticking yourself and moving forward.
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Beware.

beware.

If you’re a too-nice-for-your-own-good people pleaser it’s feasible you may have a narcissist or two in your life. Or circling.  Feeling manipulated or controlled by a certain person, or group?  Take a closer look at who you’re investing your time in. Just because YOU don’t have a secret agenda for them, doesn’t mean they aren’t pulling your strings for self-serving needs that have nothing to do with caring about you.

They circle like vultures and prey upon the good hearted: They’re hiding in plain sight, but difficult to see until it’s too late.

Beware of the narcissist.  

Break the cycle of self-blaming.

Feeling worthy All humans are flawed and have needs. Except the narcissist. Don’t believe me?  Just ask one. They’ll laundry list their super powers while pointing out and embellishing our weaknesses. Belittling and negating others is their specialty. Reducing another to an unworthy pile of insignificance; their primary goal.

Narcissists, or ‘A’ Listers as we refer to them here at The Society for Recovering Doormats, are dangerous personalities, especially for people pleasing doormats. They are toxic to approval addicts because we’re the first to accept and internalize the terrible lies they proclaim. We think we need their love and approval and validate their vicious, self-serving talk as truth.  But giving credence to their warped views, renders us ashamed and unworthy.

Break the cycle of self-blaming now! The next time you’re feeling too needy and less than the wonderful person you are, remember:  it’s not you!  Consider instead the company you’re keeping.  Chances are they are an ‘all-about-themselves ‘A’ Lister.  

You can’t change them but have a choice to disassociate.  If this isn’t feasible because of life circumstances then disengage with them mentally and emotionally,  Do not give them the power to steal your worthiness. It is every person’s birthright.

Summer Event Schedule

Calling all Florida Doormats:

I’m very excited for my first TV interview!  If you live in Florida, or are in the area, please come be a part of the studio audience during the taping.  See poster below  for details then call 561-536-1687 to RSVP.

Use this one for FB8_n See the promotional video at https://www.facebook.com/plugins/video.php?href=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.facebook.com%2FWXELTV42%2Fvideos%2F10154305469003447%2F&show_text=0&width=560

 

 

Today I will take care of me. End of story.

 

If it brings you joy, say yes. If it doesn’t, say no.  Sometimes it isn’t possible sticking with a  cut and dry answer, but many times it is just this simple.  Negating people and situations you know guarantee misery is a vital part of self care. 

Self care isn’t selfish;  it’s necessary even if it means disappointing others.  Slipping back into people pleasing mode is always a real possibility  for recovering doormats, so  before saying ‘yes’ to anybody, consider first, if you’re saying ‘yes’ to yourself as well.  

The ‘Today I will take care of me’  mug is on sale NOW.  http://www.cafepress.com/thesocietyforrecoveringdoormats/12745079
Today.

5 Signs You’re Emotionally Broke

5 signs you'r emotionally brokeIf you’re feeling depleted and worn out you may be emotionally broke. If any of these 5 signs are familiar,  please deposit  love and care into YOURSELF immediately!

The Reviews Are In!

My Life As a Doormat

Five Stars

Loren, November 30, 2014

The characters are entertaining and the writing clever, light and witty. Manhattan is a great backdrop then and now for hope-filled dreamers willing to work around life in a vast island of anonymity. The story of Rose unfolds as an adventure as she experiences life in a big city filled with the day to day challenges of just paying the bills. Challenging herself, we feel her deep disappointments and personal achievements as Rose discovers who she is! LOVE!

Five Stars

Margaret Painter, November 28, 2014

Great read with the kind of wisdom everyone can relate to.

5.0 out of 5 Stars

Mitch P. November 12, 2014

This book stirred up so many memories for me. Its written from the heart, but also with so much humor and originality. Please tell me this is just the beginning of a series. I’m emotionally invested in Rose and her journey. This is a book for all ages and walks of life because you WILL find a part of yourself in it!

Five Stars
Robin R,  December 7, 2014
 

Ivy takes you on a heartfelt journey filled with all kinds of ‘doormat’ challenges and leaves you wanting more with each chapter. I could not put the book down! I got so immersed in the book while at the hairdresser, that I forgot to eat lunch, wondering what was going to happen next with each character. So easy to read and follow. Ivy is such a talented writer and you will enjoy this book from start to finish. A real winner! Congratulations Ivy on such a tremendous accomplishment!

 

If you’ve read My Life as a Doormat please post a review on Amazon.