Save Our Energy for Things That Matter

The suggestion of looking the other way, isn’t promoting or encouraging anyone to put their head in the sand and dismiss a harsh reality. Not recommending denial. The signature doormat behavior of people-pleasers is staying silent for fear of a confrontation. I’m not in favor of this at all. But, turning away from a situation that can not be changed by our involvement is different than staying silent for fear based reasons. (more…)

By | 2018-06-19T16:14:50+00:00 June 19th, 2018|Miscellaneous mattiness|5 Comments

Need Validation?

Need validation.

It is 2018.  And for many the world is a challenging place. People seem more judgemental and when they try to stand up for themselves they are made fun of and ganged up upon when what is needed is validation.  The situation feels contradictory to what we, at The Society for Recovering Doormats are working so diligently to overcome. (more…)

By | 2018-01-15T17:10:48+00:00 January 1st, 2018|Miscellaneous mattiness|0 Comments

Break the cycle of self-blaming.

Feeling worthy All humans are flawed and have needs. Except the narcissist. Don’t believe me?  Just ask one. They’ll laundry list their super powers while pointing out and embellishing our weaknesses. Belittling and negating others is their specialty. Reducing another to an unworthy pile of insignificance; their primary goal.

Narcissists, or ‘A’ Listers as we refer to them here at The Society for Recovering Doormats, are dangerous personalities, especially for people pleasing doormats. They are toxic to approval addicts because we’re the first to accept and internalize the terrible lies they proclaim. We think we need their love and approval and validate their vicious, self-serving talk as truth.  But giving credence to their warped views, renders us ashamed and unworthy.

Break the cycle of self-blaming now! The next time you’re feeling too needy and less than the wonderful person you are, remember:  it’s not you!  Consider instead the company you’re keeping.  Chances are they are an ‘all-about-themselves ‘A’ Lister.  

You can’t change them but have a choice to disassociate.  If this isn’t feasible because of life circumstances then disengage with them mentally and emotionally,  Do not give them the power to steal your worthiness. It is every person’s birthright.

By | 2016-07-16T17:08:24+00:00 July 16th, 2016|Miscellaneous mattiness|8 Comments

Summer Event Schedule

Calling all Florida Doormats:

I’m very excited for my first TV interview!  If you live in Florida, or are in the area, please come be a part of the studio audience during the taping.  See poster below  for details then call 561-536-1687 to RSVP.

Use this one for FB8_n See the promotional video at https://www.facebook.com/plugins/video.php?href=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.facebook.com%2FWXELTV42%2Fvideos%2F10154305469003447%2F&show_text=0&width=560

 

 

By | 2016-07-03T13:15:30+00:00 July 3rd, 2016|"My Life as a Doormat" Book|0 Comments

Today I will take care of me. End of story.

 

If it brings you joy, say yes. If it doesn’t, say no.  Sometimes it isn’t possible sticking with a  cut and dry answer, but many times it is just this simple.  Negating people and situations you know guarantee misery is a vital part of self care. 

Self care isn’t selfish;  it’s necessary even if it means disappointing others.  Slipping back into people pleasing mode is always a real possibility  for recovering doormats, so  before saying ‘yes’ to anybody, consider first, if you’re saying ‘yes’ to yourself as well.  

The ‘Today I will take care of me’  mug is on sale NOW.  http://www.cafepress.com/thesocietyforrecoveringdoormats/12745079
Today.

By | 2015-11-20T17:41:09+00:00 November 20th, 2015|Miscellaneous mattiness|10 Comments