Save Our Energy for Things That Matter

The suggestion of looking the other way, isn’t promoting or encouraging anyone to put their head in the sand and dismiss a harsh reality. Not recommending denial. The signature doormat behavior of people-pleasers is staying silent for fear of a confrontation. I’m not in favor of this at all. But, turning away from a situation that can not be changed by our involvement is different than staying silent for fear based reasons. (more…)

By |2018-06-19T16:14:50+00:00June 19th, 2018|Miscellaneous mattiness|5 Comments

Need Validation?

Need validation.

It is 2018.  And for many the world is a challenging place. People seem more judgemental and when they try to stand up for themselves they are made fun of and ganged up upon when what is needed is validation.  The situation feels contradictory to what we, at The Society for Recovering Doormats are working so diligently to overcome. (more…)

By |2018-01-15T17:10:48+00:00January 1st, 2018|Miscellaneous mattiness|0 Comments

4 Tips For Avoiding Backsliding During The Holidays

 

The holidays are tough for many recovering doormats. If you’re at a gathering where known manipulating narcissists are present, please keep in mind these 4 tips to avoid slippage and backsliding into doormatish behavior.

  1. Do not accommodate.

 This is the number one behavior to stay vigilant about.  Remember, the word NO is your best friend; everyday, and especially during the holidays. Remember to enforce your boundaries because if left unguarded the danger of backsliding into mattish behavior is imminent. (more…)

By |2018-01-16T01:32:27+00:00November 20th, 2017|Miscellaneous mattiness|0 Comments

Why do I always do the right thing for the wrong people?

Right thing for wrong people

Chances are if you’re a people pleaser you are indiscriminate about whom you care about.  You do for others what you should be doing for yourself.   As an accommodating and passive, non confrontational and easy-going person, hours are spent worrying about doing the right thing. Or worse; worried about the past.  The past which is gone and can’t be changed.  Insecure and terrified about hurting other people’s feelings and doing what others want is the go to behavior of people pleasers; affectionately know as doormats. (more…)

By |2018-01-15T17:34:46+00:00October 18th, 2017|Miscellaneous mattiness|2 Comments

Update on my second book –

I’m starting  work on chapter 13 in my next book!  Although I haven’t decided on a final title yet, I’m considering Not Just My Mother’s Daughter. 

Book 2 takes place in the early 1990’s.  Rose Gardner is faced with a new set of challenges, situations and people to stand up to. Many of the same characters from       My Life as a Doormat are featured and new ones are added as the complicated relationship between mother and daughter is explored.

Below is  an excerpt.  I’d love to hear what you think of the title, and this blurb.

Excerpt for Book 2

By |2017-10-07T11:18:27+00:00October 7th, 2017|Book 2 untitled, Uncategorized|5 Comments

See what’s being said about “My Life as a Doormat”

By Tracy on September 29, 2017
Format: Kindle Edition

Love, Love Loved this book. One reason was I grew up in Miami Florida and understand Rose Gardener’s life. if you want to get away from all the political B.S. and enjoy reading about something other than the news, this is a great read. I have always felt like I let people walk all over me because I want to please others and don’t want to be thought of as a bitch.

Reading this opened my eyes to a real change in my attitude about knowing that you can be kind, nice and not let people take you for granted.This is a clear lesson in what NOT to do. This is her story but I bet you see yourself in Rose. Buy it, read it and you will see there is a big lesson to be learned.

(more…)

By |2018-01-17T14:18:07+00:00October 5th, 2017|"My Life as a Doormat" Book|0 Comments