Are you always the one reaching out, making plans and following through? How many times have you excused a friend’s lack of effort within a friendship? People pleasers need to be mindful of efforts given to friends who don’t reciprocate. Everyone has a lot on their plate and are going through something. Excusing these excuses is a signature trademark of doormat behavior.
If you’re feeling ignored and brushed aside by a ‘friend,’ then it’s time to reevaluate the friendship. Time to adjust your level of effort, and emotional involvement.
If you’re friendship feels one-sided, as if the person is doing you a favor, then do yourself a favor and never bother them again.
The most important thing to remember when in conversation with a turner is never let your guard down. You may feel comfortable and safe and that is what the turner is waiting for. The turner uses your open and vulnerable state as their cue to wield a nasty toxic remark at you. Or say something to undermine your confidence. Or both. And last but not least: do not over-share. Even if you’re in party mode and feeling the love. Unfiltered chatter and TMI can lead to the turner’s knife drawer. They might not throw one at you immediately, opting for another time when they will double their arsenal.
There are times when we can take action, make a positive difference by standing up and speaking out and bring about a significant, effective change. But there are those times when all we can do is keep breathing, waiting for the storm to pass.
