Chances are if you’re a people pleaser you are indiscriminate about whom you care about. You do for others what you should be doing for yourself. As an accommodating and passive, non confrontational and easy-going person, hours are spent worrying about doing the right thing. Or worse; worried about the past. The past which is gone and can’t be changed. Insecure and terrified about hurting other people’s feelings and doing what others want is the go to behavior of people pleasers; affectionately know as doormats.
When you give to like-minded people the rewards of you selfless behavior is acknowledged, appreciated, valued and loved. But when the recipients of your good heart and intentions are narcissists, there is zero benefit. You’re left feeling judged and worthless. Nothing you ever do is good enough and they manipulate and dictate your every move according to their needs.
Why would anyone get involved with someone like this? I believe it’s a subconscious choice because narcissist are drawn to good-natured folks like us; just like bees to honey. They disguise their ulterior motive and agendas until confidant they have us under their evil spell. By the time we realize the one-sideness of the relationship it takes a long time to make a final exit. But exit we must.