4 Tips For Avoiding Backsliding During The Holidays

 

The holidays are tough for many recovering doormats. If you’re at a gathering where known manipulating narcissists are present, please keep in mind these 4 tips to avoid slippage and backsliding into doormatish behavior.

  1. Do not accommodate.

 This is the number one behavior to stay vigilant about.  Remember, the word NO is your best friend; everyday, and especially during the holidays. Remember to enforce your boundaries because if left unguarded the danger of backsliding into mattish behavior is imminent. (more…)

By | 2018-01-16T01:32:27+00:00 November 20th, 2017|Miscellaneous mattiness|0 Comments

See what’s being said about “My Life as a Doormat”

By Tracy on September 29, 2017
Format: Kindle Edition

Love, Love Loved this book. One reason was I grew up in Miami Florida and understand Rose Gardener’s life. if you want to get away from all the political B.S. and enjoy reading about something other than the news, this is a great read. I have always felt like I let people walk all over me because I want to please others and don’t want to be thought of as a bitch.

Reading this opened my eyes to a real change in my attitude about knowing that you can be kind, nice and not let people take you for granted.This is a clear lesson in what NOT to do. This is her story but I bet you see yourself in Rose. Buy it, read it and you will see there is a big lesson to be learned.

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By | 2018-01-17T14:18:07+00:00 October 5th, 2017|"My Life as a Doormat" Book|0 Comments

Excerpts from ‘My Life as a Doormat’

About Work…

By September’s end, I was no longer happy scraping dried scrambled eggs off my waitress apron. Too many shifts, temperamental cooks and the grim reality of schlepping food sucked. My moment as a film actress had long passed and the trauma of “A Whisper of Opportunity” has faded. After my brief hiatus, I was more than ready to get back into the acting game.
My Life as a Doormat, by Rose Gardener

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By | 2018-01-17T19:17:56+00:00 August 26th, 2017|"My Life as a Doormat" Book|0 Comments

October Events

Calling all North Carolina doormats!  

I’ll be at Barnes & Noble on October 15th. See below for details.

My Life As a DoormatI’m so excited for my up-coming book event at Barnes & Noble in Asheville North Carolina on Saturday October 15th at 2:00PM,  If you’re in the area please stop by and say hello!

Saturday, October 15th 2:00PM – 3:30PM

Barnes and Noble in Asheville Mall

3 South Tunnel Road 
Asheville, NC 28805 
828-296-7335 

Author Signing(Biography, Fiction, Humor) 

“Please join us in welcoming author Rose Gardner who will be discussing and signing her book My Life as a Doormat. In this fictionalized biography, it is 1980 and naïve Rose has moved to New York to pursue her acting career. Anxious and uncertain, Rose must learn to stand up and speak for herself — the rallying cry of The Society for Recovering Doormats!”

https://stores.barnesandnoble.com/event/9780061787299-0

By | 2016-10-05T11:26:56+00:00 October 5th, 2016|"My Life as a Doormat" Book|0 Comments

Speak your Truth.

Why do we feel terrible when we begin standing up for ourselves?

People pleasers are so use to staying silent, accepting abusive and critical verbal abuse that speaking our mind feels unnatural and uncomfortable.  Going along with the general consensus, and not making waves was our MO for so long we believed this to be normal.

During recovery from doormatism, it’s hard to speak our truth. But we must learn how to despite possible residual negative feelings.  The moment the words are spoken we may start traveling down the river of doubt. Then perhaps, turn in ourselves, beating our self up with false beliefs of unworthiness.   And then our most self destructive behavior: forgetting WHY we spoke our truth in the first place.  Forgetting we have the right to defend ourselves without guilt, shame or concern if we’ve upset our abuser is detrimental.

The good news is: our level of uncomfortableness fades the more we practice self care.

Stand up, speak out without guilt or shame.

#offthefloor

 

Anyone ever feel like this?

Anyone ever feel like this?

By | 2016-10-02T09:51:57+00:00 October 2nd, 2016|Miscellaneous mattiness|4 Comments

“Between the Covers”

In August I was interviewed on Between The Covers.  I had a wonderful time on the half hour television show dedicated to interviewing authors.  The episode airs on September 30th & October 1st.  I’m very excited and hope you’ll tune in or click here to view on line – http://www.pbs.org/video/2365847545/

Between The Covers airs in West Palm Beach and all of South Florida on WXEL PBS, on Sept. 30th at 5:30 pm & Oct. 1st at 10.00 am.  Wxel promopromo-for-btc

By | 2016-09-12T12:52:35+00:00 September 12th, 2016|"My Life as a Doormat" Book|0 Comments

Verbal abuse is abuse.

The power of hurtful language is just as damaging and maybe even more detrimental than a physical assault.  If someone strikes us, afterwards we can see the wound heal and know exactly what to do. Many times we choose to leave the relationship.  A physical  affront will make us take action. In most cases, will permit us to make a healthy decision about how to move forward.

But when the abuse is verbal, some fragment gets lodged within our mind and continues to replay itself.  The wound never heals, and we remain within the abusive relationship, justifying the abusers behavior.   But verbal abuse just like physical abuse is never okay, and should never be minimized or tolerated.

Stand up, speak out and walk away.  verbal abuse is not ok

By | 2016-07-31T10:32:17+00:00 July 31st, 2016|Miscellaneous mattiness|8 Comments