You have a voice!

you-have-a-voice

Declaring your choices by speaking up is vital for all people pleasers.  Use your voice to perpetuate or negate. For initiating or terminating. You have a right to agree or refute.  All  vocalized decisions enable recovery from doormatism. 

The only decision keeping you stuck in doormat mode is remaining silent.

#standupandspeakout

#empowerment

 

 

7 Ways To Stop Obsessing and Feeling Stuck

 

Obsessing  doesn’t have a positive outcome, yet it’s one of the top ten behaviors all people pleasing doormats engage in.  The only thing ruminating will do is get and keep us stuck.  Repeating the same thought over and over, without a solution renders us powerless and stagnant.

If you’re feeling stuck, please read these 7 suggestions for  un-sticking yourself and moving forward.
dark-yellow-paper

October Events

Calling all North Carolina doormats!  

I’ll be at Barnes & Noble on October 15th. See below for details.

My Life As a DoormatI’m so excited for my up-coming book event at Barnes & Noble in Asheville North Carolina on Saturday October 15th at 2:00PM,  If you’re in the area please stop by and say hello!

Saturday, October 15th 2:00PM – 3:30PM

Barnes and Noble in Asheville Mall

3 South Tunnel Road 
Asheville, NC 28805 
828-296-7335 

Author Signing(Biography, Fiction, Humor) 

“Please join us in welcoming author Rose Gardner who will be discussing and signing her book My Life as a Doormat. In this fictionalized biography, it is 1980 and naïve Rose has moved to New York to pursue her acting career. Anxious and uncertain, Rose must learn to stand up and speak for herself — the rallying cry of The Society for Recovering Doormats!”

https://stores.barnesandnoble.com/event/9780061787299-0

Speak your Truth.

Why do we feel terrible when we begin standing up for ourselves?

People pleasers are so use to staying silent, accepting abusive and critical verbal abuse that speaking our mind feels unnatural and uncomfortable.  Going along with the general consensus, and not making waves was our MO for so long we believed this to be normal.

During recovery from doormatism, it’s hard to speak our truth. But we must learn how to despite possible residual negative feelings.  The moment the words are spoken we may start traveling down the river of doubt. Then perhaps, turn in ourselves, beating our self up with false beliefs of unworthiness.   And then our most self destructive behavior: forgetting WHY we spoke our truth in the first place.  Forgetting we have the right to defend ourselves without guilt, shame or concern if we’ve upset our abuser is detrimental.

The good news is: our level of uncomfortableness fades the more we practice self care.

Stand up, speak out without guilt or shame.

#offthefloor

 

Anyone ever feel like this?

Anyone ever feel like this?

“Between the Covers”

In August I was interviewed on Between The Covers.  I had a wonderful time on the half hour television show dedicated to interviewing authors.  The episode airs on September 30th & October 1st.  I’m very excited and hope you’ll tune in or click here to view on line – http://www.pbs.org/video/2365847545/

Between The Covers airs in West Palm Beach and all of South Florida on WXEL PBS, on Sept. 30th at 5:30 pm & Oct. 1st at 10.00 am.  Wxel promopromo-for-btc

Verbal abuse is abuse.

The power of hurtful language is just as damaging and maybe even more detrimental than a physical assault.  If someone strikes us, afterwards we can see the wound heal and know exactly what to do. Many times we choose to leave the relationship.  A physical  affront will make us take action. In most cases, will permit us to make a healthy decision about how to move forward.

But when the abuse is verbal, some fragment gets lodged within our mind and continues to replay itself.  The wound never heals, and we remain within the abusive relationship, justifying the abusers behavior.   But verbal abuse just like physical abuse is never okay, and should never be minimized or tolerated.

Stand up, speak out and walk away.  verbal abuse is not ok

Summer Event Schedule

Calling all Florida Doormats:

I’m very excited for my first TV interview!  If you live in Florida, or are in the area, please come be a part of the studio audience during the taping.  See poster below  for details then call 561-536-1687 to RSVP.

Use this one for FB8_n See the promotional video at https://www.facebook.com/plugins/video.php?href=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.facebook.com%2FWXELTV42%2Fvideos%2F10154305469003447%2F&show_text=0&width=560

 

 

Manhattan Book Event

My book event at Barnes and Noble on the upper west side of NYC was the perfect way to conclude the spring northeast book tour of My Life as a Doormat.  Many thanks to all who attended.

#MyLifeasaDoormat

#bnupperws

Manhattan Book event

Manhattan Book event

All there are in this world are other people…

Who hasn’t met an all-about-themself narcissist?  The Society for Recovering Doormats  term for them is ‘A’ Listers. They aren’t starring in movies, and walking the red carpet but  regard themselves as famous, powerful and better than every one else .  These celebrities in their own mind are preoccupied with judging and determining other’s worthiness and clueless about important life values.  Kindness, compassion and gratitude aren’t on their radar.  Doormats fall prey to ‘A’ Listers manipulation and unwittingly permit them to play judge and juror.

It is time to stop the madness  and remind these  individuals that “all there are in this world are other people, none are lesser or greater than you.”  If you can’t stand up and speak out to them, please stand up and speak out to yourself. We are all people

2015 in review

Logo Centered

2015 was a year of growth.  My blog blossomed, my other social media platforms grew, (FaceBook ended the year with 58,000 followers) my book sold world wide (in print and electronically) I launched my on-line store on CafePress and I only gained 2 pounds.  

 

I’m grateful for my health and my journey throughout 2015 and thank you for visiting my sites, reading my book, sharing your thoughts and standing up with me.

 

Wishing all a happy, healthy and stand up New Year

With love and gratitude,

 

Rose Gardner

 

PS  If you’re interested in statistics, below is the 2015                                   official report on The Society for Recovering Doormats

 

Click here to see the complete report.