It’s been awhile since posting on my blog site, and I hope all are well. As I grow older, time disappears at a rapid rate. Fall flashed by and the next thing I know it’s the end of February. Where does all this time go? I’ve spent the winter revisiting my past. Not to recreate it, but to draw from it as I work on my next novel, Not Just My Mother’s Daughter. Writing this sequel to My Life as a Doormat is a labor of love. Spending hours within the archives of my memory, conjuring up recollections from a buried past is daunting. It is a bittersweet journey and the brick and mortar of my writing. (more…)
I’m spending some time in the city that My Life as a Doormat began: Manhattan. Without this magical yet challenging place, I wouldn’t have been capable of writing my book. Although a work of fiction, My Life as a Doormat is based on many real experiences and feelings from my young adulthood.
It’s reassuring seeing many of the landmarks mentioned in my book are still here. They’ve withstood the test of time. As have I.
To get your copy of My Life as a Doormat click the link below.
The suggestion of looking the other way, isn’t promoting or encouraging anyone to put their head in the sand and dismiss a harsh reality. Not recommending denial. The signature doormat behavior of people-pleasers is staying silent for fear of a confrontation. I’m not in favor of this at all. But, turning away from a situation that can not be changed by our involvement is different than staying silent for fear based reasons. (more…)
I am so excited about my upcoming interview by Dr. Theresa Nicassio on her world-wide radio show on March 8th 2018
Click on this link for details. https://www.theresanicassio.com/portfolio/society-for-recovering-doormats/
Birthdays. We all have them, and although my emotions are a mixed bag of hope, reflection and self – doubt undermining my years of work on empowerment and self-worth; I still love my birthday! Milestone birthdays require at least a month-long acknowledgement, and major milestones must be celebrated for the entire year! (more…)
It is 2018. And for many the world is a challenging place. People seem more judgemental and when they try to stand up for themselves they are made fun of and ganged up upon when what is needed is validation. The situation feels contradictory to what we, at The Society for Recovering Doormats are working so diligently to overcome. (more…)
Why do we feel terrible when we begin standing up for ourselves?
People pleasers are so use to staying silent, accepting abusive and critical verbal abuse that speaking our mind feels unnatural and uncomfortable. Going along with the general consensus, and not making waves was our MO for so long we believed this to be normal.
During recovery from doormatism, it’s hard to speak our truth. But we must learn how to despite possible residual negative feelings. The moment the words are spoken we may start traveling down the river of doubt. Then perhaps, turn in ourselves, beating our self up with false beliefs of unworthiness. And then our most self destructive behavior: forgetting WHY we spoke our truth in the first place. Forgetting we have the right to defend ourselves without guilt, shame or concern if we’ve upset our abuser is detrimental.
The good news is: our level of uncomfortableness fades the more we practice self care.
Stand up, speak out without guilt or shame.