It’s been awhile since posting on my blog site, and I hope all are well. As I grow older, time disappears at a rapid rate. Fall flashed by and the next thing I know it’s the end of February. Where does all this time go? I’ve spent the winter revisiting my past. Not to recreate it, but to draw from it as I work on my next novel, Not Just My Mother’s Daughter. Writing this sequel to My Life as a Doormat is a labor of love. Spending hours within the archives of my memory, conjuring up recollections from a buried past is daunting. It is a bittersweet journey and the brick and mortar of my writing. (more…)
The suggestion of looking the other way, isn’t promoting or encouraging anyone to put their head in the sand and dismiss a harsh reality. Not recommending denial. The signature doormat behavior of people-pleasers is staying silent for fear of a confrontation. I’m not in favor of this at all. But, turning away from a situation that can not be changed by our involvement is different than staying silent for fear based reasons. (more…)
It is 2018. And for many the world is a challenging place. People seem more judgemental and when they try to stand up for themselves they are made fun of and ganged up upon when what is needed is validation. The situation feels contradictory to what we, at The Society for Recovering Doormats are working so diligently to overcome. (more…)
The holidays are tough for many recovering doormats. If you’re at a gathering where known manipulating narcissists are present, please keep in mind these 4 tips to avoid slippage and backsliding into doormatish behavior.
- Do not accommodate.
This is the number one behavior to stay vigilant about. Remember, the word NO is your best friend; everyday, and especially during the holidays. Remember to enforce your boundaries because if left unguarded the danger of backsliding into mattish behavior is imminent. (more…)
Chances are if you’re a people pleaser you are indiscriminate about whom you care about. You do for others what you should be doing for yourself. As an accommodating and passive, non confrontational and easy-going person, hours are spent worrying about doing the right thing. Or worse; worried about the past. The past which is gone and can’t be changed. Insecure and terrified about hurting other people’s feelings and doing what others want is the go to behavior of people pleasers; affectionately know as doormats. (more…)
In August I was interviewed on Between The Covers. I had a wonderful time on the half hour television show dedicated to interviewing authors. The episode airs on September 30th & October 1st. I’m very excited and hope you’ll tune in or click here to view on line – http://www.pbs.org/video/2365847545/
Between The Covers airs in West Palm Beach and all of South Florida on WXEL PBS, on Sept. 30th at 5:30 pm & Oct. 1st at 10.00 am.