7 Ways To Stop Obsessing and Feeling Stuck

 

Obsessing  doesn’t have a positive outcome, yet it’s one of the top ten behaviors all people pleasing doormats engage in.  The only thing ruminating will do is get and keep us stuck.  Repeating the same thought over and over, without a solution renders us powerless and stagnant.

If you’re feeling stuck, please read these 7 suggestions for  un-sticking yourself and moving forward.
dark-yellow-paper

Beware.

beware.

If you’re a too-nice-for-your-own-good people pleaser it’s feasible you may have a narcissist or two in your life. Or circling.  Feeling manipulated or controlled by a certain person, or group?  Take a closer look at who you’re investing your time in. Just because YOU don’t have a secret agenda for them, doesn’t mean they aren’t pulling your strings for self-serving needs that have nothing to do with caring about you.

They circle like vultures and prey upon the good hearted: They’re hiding in plain sight, but difficult to see until it’s too late.

Beware of the narcissist.  

“Between the Covers”

In August I was interviewed on Between The Covers.  I had a wonderful time on the half hour television show dedicated to interviewing authors.  The episode airs on September 30th & October 1st.  I’m very excited and hope you’ll tune in or click here to view on line – http://www.pbs.org/video/2365847545/

Between The Covers airs in West Palm Beach and all of South Florida on WXEL PBS, on Sept. 30th at 5:30 pm & Oct. 1st at 10.00 am.  Wxel promopromo-for-btc

Stress Triggers

Button pushersWe all know people who are masters at pushing our buttons. Most are family members and close friends. They aren’t toxic but cause enormous stress. They’re well-meaning but their good intentions are counterproductive to our needs and elevate our stress level.

Knowing WHO these people are, then keeping a safe distance (especially in stressful situations) is one way to manage their good intentions.

Verbal abuse is abuse.

The power of hurtful language is just as damaging and maybe even more detrimental than a physical assault.  If someone strikes us, afterwards we can see the wound heal and know exactly what to do. Many times we choose to leave the relationship.  A physical  affront will make us take action. In most cases, will permit us to make a healthy decision about how to move forward.

But when the abuse is verbal, some fragment gets lodged within our mind and continues to replay itself.  The wound never heals, and we remain within the abusive relationship, justifying the abusers behavior.   But verbal abuse just like physical abuse is never okay, and should never be minimized or tolerated.

Stand up, speak out and walk away.  verbal abuse is not ok

It’s Not My Fault.

It is absolutely not Thinking you’re responsible for others moods, behavior, choices and happiness is an underlying problem for most doormats.  Many of us are empaths, empathizing  and experiencing  the feelings and thoughts of others as our own. And worse; taking responsibility for them.  Detaching is an arduous task but can be achieved. Next time you’re around someone who’s in a funk, remember this one truth: “It’s not my fault ” and respond accordingly.

Unless your life is reclusive, and interaction with others is negligible, reminding yourself      it is not your fault is paramount for becoming and remaining a recovering doormat.

Need daily reminders? Or a meaningful gift for the recovering doormat in your life? Visit The Society for Recovering Doormat Shop by following the link below –http://www.cafepress.com/+society-doormats+gifts

All there are in this world are other people…

Who hasn’t met an all-about-themself narcissist?  The Society for Recovering Doormats  term for them is ‘A’ Listers. They aren’t starring in movies, and walking the red carpet but  regard themselves as famous, powerful and better than every one else .  These celebrities in their own mind are preoccupied with judging and determining other’s worthiness and clueless about important life values.  Kindness, compassion and gratitude aren’t on their radar.  Doormats fall prey to ‘A’ Listers manipulation and unwittingly permit them to play judge and juror.

It is time to stop the madness  and remind these  individuals that “all there are in this world are other people, none are lesser or greater than you.”  If you can’t stand up and speak out to them, please stand up and speak out to yourself. We are all people

No More Excuses

No more excuses

Everyone is responsible for themselves, and it’s not your job to justify other’s bad behavior.  If you’re constantly defending someone’s words and deeds then it’s time to reevaluate the relationship.  Trust yourself enough to know if you experience someones comments and actions as inconsiderate, rude and offensive that you’re right.  Stop putting your head in sand and ignoring your inner truth. It’s time to take the doormat glasses off and see the person through reality lenses.

2015 in review

Logo Centered

2015 was a year of growth.  My blog blossomed, my other social media platforms grew, (FaceBook ended the year with 58,000 followers) my book sold world wide (in print and electronically) I launched my on-line store on CafePress and I only gained 2 pounds.  

 

I’m grateful for my health and my journey throughout 2015 and thank you for visiting my sites, reading my book, sharing your thoughts and standing up with me.

 

Wishing all a happy, healthy and stand up New Year

With love and gratitude,

 

Rose Gardner

 

PS  If you’re interested in statistics, below is the 2015                                   official report on The Society for Recovering Doormats

 

Click here to see the complete report.

Happy New Year

Many thanks to all visiting and sharing The Society for Recovering Doormats. I want you to know how much I appreciate your viewership here, and on my other social media platforms. 2015 was a year of life lessons and tremendous personal growth and your continued presence helps keep me off the floor too.

As the new year begins, I happily announce the drafting of my second novel.  Many have inquired what happens to Rose after  My life as a Doormat? The second book will answer that question.  Now that I’ve made this announcement public, I guess I have to really set a deadline and get this book done!Happy New Year

Wishing you and your loved ones the happiest and healthiest  New Year possible.

Much love,

Rose.