Stress, Anxiety and Depression

 

One of the biggest challenges of people pleasing, approval addicts is saying ‘no’ because we don’t want to let anyone down.  Instead of speaking our truth and letting our needs known, we accommodate.  We wind up in uncomfortable situations, surrounded by people we don’t want to be around, doing things we’re not interested in. We appease others because disappointing anyone terrifies us.  We want everyone to be happy, and negate our own personal happiness in the process.

We may be unaware of the tremendous price we’re paying by being a ‘yes person.’ Stress, anxiety and depression are byproducts of people pleasing.  By avoiding conflict at all costs we might stave off a disagreement. But by keeping the peace we cause a damaging war inside ourselves.

Please remember this the next time you say yes when you really mean no. Or stay silent when you need to speak up. Stress and anxiety

By |2016-06-28T22:13:58-04:00June 28th, 2016|Miscellaneous mattiness|0 Comments

Sometimes soft hearts need to make hard decisions.

Kind heartsThe hardest decision challenging our soft hearts is to stop people pleasing.  People pleasers are kind-hearted, selfless, and fear disagreements and conflict.  Keep the peace and go with the flow is the soundtrack in our heads rendering us into doormat status.  We don’t make waves because we want everyone to like us.  Fearful our soft, warm hearts will turn icy cold we accommodate others and remain silent.  It’s time to realize we can stand up and speak our truths and people won’t hate us.  We can retain our humanity while disagreeing, and say ‘no’ while keeping our loving-kindness in tact.

By |2015-02-12T10:34:35-05:00February 12th, 2015|Miscellaneous mattiness|3 Comments

5 Benefits of saying no.

5 Benefits of saying 'no'  One of the biggest challenges of people pleaser’s is saying no.  Saying yes to everyone and negating our own desires equals DOORMAT.  Plain and simple.  It takes time to unlearn this very unhealthy, destructive habit of being a yes person. It won’t be easy and will take time until saying no feels authentic. But completely worth the effort.

By |2015-01-14T10:34:06-05:00January 14th, 2015|Miscellaneous mattiness|8 Comments

Our Manifesto – Stamp Out Doormatism

Stamp Out Doormatism

It is  2016.  A time for enlightenment and acceptance. With acceptance brings power. GLBT’s are out of their closets, speaking up for equal rights and respect and receiving it!  Doormats  muddle through as matty messes feeling isolated and manipulated. We  need validation too.  The Society for Recovering Doormats allows us to meet like-minded peeps.   The Society for Recovering Doormats is a safe house where we pick ourselves up off of the floor and speak out  for what we want.  Speaking up and refusing acceptance of what doesn’t align with our needs and moral compass is a major step for a mat.

This concept isn’t novel.  In Paris there’s The Society for Encouragement.  I’m sure it has nothing to do with helping doormats, but wouldn’t it be great if it did? And there are countless books written and programs designed by shrinks, and psychologists all offering advice and everyday strategies. Helping the mat remains a valiant, on-going effort.

I find mats are docile, loving, trusting and non confrontational peeps with low self esteem and  easy targets for individuals with manipulative, self serving agendas. It’s due time we raise our collective consciousness and put an end to doormatism. We’ve  been ignored for too long. Seen, but not heard, used and abused. I say “no more on the floor!”

A question buzzing around The Society for Recovering Doormats is: “How do I know if I am a doormat?”  Most peeps don’t realize they’re a mat until after a visit to The Society for Recovering Doormats.

During our formative years we’re blissfully unaware of our mat status. But the cumulative damage from years of people pleasing and accommodating others renders us into submission and alas we are destined to doormatism. We smile to mask our pain but are silently miserable from neglecting our personal needs.  If this sounds like you, then you are a doormat.

The good news is, you don’t have to remain a doormat.  With some insight and behavior modification you can be standing up, speaking out and evolve into a mat-no-more status!

I’m not a medical professional, therapist, psychologist, or a psychiatrist.  I’m just  a recovering doormat trying to help as many fellow mats as I can. One mat at a time.

Standing up and speaking out,
Rose Gardner – Founding member and creator of The Society for Recovering Doormats.

By |2015-01-12T13:32:16-05:00January 12th, 2015|Miscellaneous mattiness|2 Comments

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