Narcissists Are Mean.

April 11, 2024

Narcissists are mean. They try to hide their nasty nature under the guise of being truthful, or only trying to help. When confronted with this truth they play the victim.

As recovering doormats we need to surround ourselves with nurturing people. When kind, caring, understanding souls, offer up help, their efforts don’t feel hurtful. I am open to constructive criticism but when the person delivering the well meaning advice, and their critical observations leaves me in tears I have to ask myself, “Is this person really helpful? Or using my vulnerbility to indulge their meanness. ”

Sadly, these people are the ones we’re closest to. Our spouses, parents, children or siblings. Although I’m educated on the inner workings of narcissistic behavior, the meanness catches me off guard and I have to remind myself of who these people are and how differently they’re wired.

When we confront them with their abhorrent behavior, they will never apologize and always put the blame back on us. They are professionals at turning the tables.

If you’ve experienced this I’d love to hear your comments in the leave a comment section of this post.


  1. Donna Morales on April 15, 2024 at 12:53 PM

    Reading this passage brings my past experiences to the forefront of my mind and reminds me to always value myself first before looking for validation from others , especially the ones that mean nothing more than to hurt me and bring me down.

    • Ivy Tobin on April 15, 2024 at 1:02 PM

      Hi Donna, thanks for sharing. Validation of ourselves is the key component to recovering from our disease to please. As we get healthier, the agendas of the narcissist becomes crystal clear. At the first sign of meanness: disengage. That is the best way to avoid being put down and eventually hurt. No more giving second chances, or the benefit of the doubt.

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