I’m doing the best I can and that’s all that matters.



How many times have we accepted others views without question? Allowed their thoughts to reign supreme and leave our own opinions unspoken. Or IF we speak out, and our ideas are met with disapproval, contempt, and invalidated, remain silent and allow others to feed our self-doubts.

People pleasers, aka doormats, accept others negative views as absolute truth because we’re programmed not to make waves, or disagree.  Stuffing down our own feelings and opinions is harmful and results in self-doubt, low self-esteem and inordinate amounts of stress.  Allowing other people’s thoughts and values to govern our lives is dangerous because it determines our self-worth.

STOP listening to other people. 

Being aware of this pitfall is an important step in recovering from doormatism.  Knowing that other’s value judgements don’t matter is freeing!   Validating our own efforts, accomplishments and self-worth is all that’s important.

We are doing the best we can and that is enough.

By |2018-01-16T01:04:21+00:00December 20th, 2016|Miscellaneous mattiness|5 Comments


  1. Barbara Hee December 20, 2016 at 8:42 PM - Reply

    I can keep sending these to you if you like. I think the messages give me

    a lot to think about.




    • ivytobin December 20, 2016 at 9:51 PM - Reply

      Hi Barbara, thank you for visiting, commenting and sharing my blog. Wishing you a very happy holiday season. 😘

  2. David Lloyd December 30, 2016 at 10:55 PM - Reply

    It’s such a hard habit to break but once you do, you’ll feel amazing.

    • ivytobin December 30, 2016 at 11:38 PM - Reply

      Very true David! Thanks for commenting and HAPPY NEW YEAR. 🎉😊🎉🍾

  3. Paul W. Moberg August 1, 2017 at 1:46 PM - Reply

    Often after reading your posts I feel so energized and feel I must share them with my Facebook friends. They hold so much value to me. Thank you for allowing me to be a member of this wonderful family.

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