The holidays are tough for many recovering doormats. If you’re at a gathering where known manipulating narcissists are present, please keep in mind these 4 tips to avoid slippage and backsliding into doormatish behavior.
- Do not accommodate.
This is the number one behavior to stay vigilant about. Remember, the word NO is your best friend; everyday, and especially during the holidays. Remember to enforce your boundaries because if left unguarded the danger of backsliding into mattish behavior is imminent. (more…)
I’d been a people pleaser since childhood. Being a polite, caring, thoughtful, kind and non-confrontational person was ingrained by my Mother. I didn’t know there was an alternative way to behave and treated everyone with respect and love; except myself. Years of this behavior chipped away at my self-confidence, worth and esteem. (more…)
Chances are if you’re a people pleaser you are indiscriminate about whom you care about. You do for others what you should be doing for yourself. As an accommodating and passive, non confrontational and easy-going person, hours are spent worrying about doing the right thing. Or worse; worried about the past. The past which is gone and can’t be changed. Insecure and terrified about hurting other people’s feelings and doing what others want is the go to behavior of people pleasers; affectionately know as doormats. (more…)
I’m starting work on chapter 13 in my next book! Although I haven’t decided on a final title yet, I’m considering Not Just My Mother’s Daughter.
Book 2 takes place in the early 1990’s. Rose Gardner is faced with a new set of challenges, situations and people to stand up to. Many of the same characters from My Life as a Doormat are featured and new ones are added as the complicated relationship between mother and daughter is explored.
Below is an excerpt. I’d love to hear what you think of the title, and this blurb.