Save Our Energy for Things That Matter

The suggestion of looking the other way, isn’t promoting or encouraging anyone to put their head in the sand and dismiss a harsh reality. Not recommending denial. The signature doormat behavior of people-pleasers is staying silent for fear of a confrontation. I’m not in favor of this at all. But, turning away from a situation that can not be changed by our involvement is different than staying silent for fear based reasons. (more…)

By |2018-06-19T16:14:50+00:00June 19th, 2018|Miscellaneous mattiness|7 Comments

What to do if you are tired.

“If you are tired, rest.” It seems so simple, but many of us deny ourselves this needed self-care. Or if we do rest, we feel guilty about not actively engaging in life. We start “should-ing” ourselves about doing something productive.

Remember that rest IS productive for maintaining good mental health. And this is something forgotten. Most recovering mats have put themselves last for so long and self-care doesn’t receive the attention it deserves. (more…)

By |2018-03-31T20:16:04+00:00March 31st, 2018|Uncategorized|4 Comments

Birthdays are a mixed bag.

Birthdays. We all have them, and although my emotions are a mixed bag of hope, reflection and self – doubt undermining my years of work on empowerment and self-worth; I still love my birthday!  Milestone birthdays require at least a month-long acknowledgement, and major milestones must be celebrated for the entire year! (more…)

By |2018-03-21T15:31:42+00:00February 5th, 2018|Miscellaneous mattiness|4 Comments

Need Validation?

Need validation.

It is 2018.  And for many the world is a challenging place. People seem more judgemental and when they try to stand up for themselves they are made fun of and ganged up upon when what is needed is validation.  The situation feels contradictory to what we, at The Society for Recovering Doormats are working so diligently to overcome. (more…)

By |2018-01-15T17:10:48+00:00January 1st, 2018|Miscellaneous mattiness|0 Comments

4 Tips For Avoiding Backsliding During The Holidays

 

The holidays are tough for many recovering doormats. If you’re at a gathering where known manipulating narcissists are present, please keep in mind these 4 tips to avoid slippage and backsliding into doormatish behavior.

  1. Do not accommodate.

 This is the number one behavior to stay vigilant about.  Remember, the word NO is your best friend; everyday, and especially during the holidays. Remember to enforce your boundaries because if left unguarded the danger of backsliding into mattish behavior is imminent. (more…)

By |2018-01-16T01:32:27+00:00November 20th, 2017|Miscellaneous mattiness|0 Comments