What to do if you are tired.

“If you are tired, rest.” It seems so simple, but many of us deny ourselves this needed self-care. Or if we do rest, we feel guilty about not actively engaging in life. We start “should-ing” ourselves about doing something productive.

Remember that rest IS productive for maintaining good mental health. And this is something forgotten. Most recovering mats have put themselves last for so long and self-care doesn’t receive the attention it deserves. (more…)

By | 2018-03-31T20:16:04+00:00 March 31st, 2018|Uncategorized|0 Comments

Birthdays are a mixed bag.

Birthdays. We all have them, and although my emotions are a mixed bag of hope, reflection and self – doubt undermining my years of work on empowerment and self-worth; I still love my birthday!  Milestone birthdays require at least a month-long acknowledgement, and major milestones must be celebrated for the entire year! (more…)

By | 2018-03-21T15:31:42+00:00 February 5th, 2018|Miscellaneous mattiness|2 Comments

Need Validation?

Need validation.

It is 2018.  And for many the world is a challenging place. People seem more judgemental and when they try to stand up for themselves they are made fun of and ganged up upon when what is needed is validation.  The situation feels contradictory to what we, at The Society for Recovering Doormats are working so diligently to overcome. (more…)

By | 2018-01-15T17:10:48+00:00 January 1st, 2018|Miscellaneous mattiness|0 Comments

4 Tips For Avoiding Backsliding During The Holidays

 

The holidays are tough for many recovering doormats. If you’re at a gathering where known manipulating narcissists are present, please keep in mind these 4 tips to avoid slippage and backsliding into doormatish behavior.

  1. Do not accommodate.

 This is the number one behavior to stay vigilant about.  Remember, the word NO is your best friend; everyday, and especially during the holidays. Remember to enforce your boundaries because if left unguarded the danger of backsliding into mattish behavior is imminent. (more…)

By | 2018-01-16T01:32:27+00:00 November 20th, 2017|Miscellaneous mattiness|0 Comments

Why do I always do the right thing for the wrong people?

Right thing for wrong people

Chances are if you’re a people pleaser you are indiscriminate about whom you care about.  You do for others what you should be doing for yourself.   As an accommodating and passive, non confrontational and easy-going person, hours are spent worrying about doing the right thing. Or worse; worried about the past.  The past which is gone and can’t be changed.  Insecure and terrified about hurting other people’s feelings and doing what others want is the go to behavior of people pleasers; affectionately know as doormats. (more…)

By | 2018-01-15T17:34:46+00:00 October 18th, 2017|Miscellaneous mattiness|2 Comments

Update on my second book –

I’m starting  work on chapter 13 in my next book!  Although I haven’t decided on a final title yet, I’m considering Not Just My Mother’s Daughter. 

Book 2 takes place in the early 1990’s.  Rose Gardner is faced with a new set of challenges, situations and people to stand up to. Many of the same characters from       My Life as a Doormat are featured and new ones are added as the complicated relationship between mother and daughter is explored.

Below is  an excerpt.  I’d love to hear what you think of the title, and this blurb.

Excerpt for Book 2

By | 2017-10-07T11:18:27+00:00 October 7th, 2017|Book 2 untitled, Uncategorized|5 Comments