The ‘A’ Lister

Hi Mats. I’m having a manic Monday and still feeling angry about last weeks encounter with an ‘A’ Lister.  While standing in a long return line at Macy’s I struck up a conversation with the gal in front of me. I excitedly told her about the “Society,” my growing audience on Facebook, and my blog.  Sharing insights about doormats and our journey towards empowerment felt exhilarating; until the awkward silence that followed.

“I’ve never had any of those “D” Lister experiences,” she commented then feigned a confused look while sticking her surgically enhanced nose up in the air. Seconds later she inched away from me as if I had lice and turned her back towards me.

I felt like  a doormat.

A minute later the stranger glanced over her shoulder mouthing “good luck.” It wasn’t long until she  turned around and  faced me again. “Your Society just isn’t for me. But my SISTER would fit right in.” She said as serious as a heart attack.

The woman is an ‘A’ Lister :  A celebrity in her own mind and the worst nemesis of the doormat.  I should’ve stood up and spoke out, but my inner “D” took over and I stayed silent.

What would you have done? Rose.

By | 2013-02-19T00:45:35+00:00 February 19th, 2013|Mat-isodes|0 Comments

No Comments

  1. drterrysegal February 20, 2013 at 3:00 am - Reply

    Dear Rose,
    That is so frustrating. But the Monday morning quarterbacking I imagined would have you say, “Oh, that reminds me to add a new category: Doormats who are bullies.”

    • ivytobin February 20, 2013 at 4:27 am - Reply

      Great suggestion. I will definitely incorporate ‘doormat bullies’ into the lingo of the Society. Thanks so much for your insight.

  2. Susan February 24, 2013 at 1:49 am - Reply

    I doubt I would have had the courage or desire to talk to anyone in the line, and I know I wouldn’t have divulged the existance of The Society unless she had just been shot down by the Customer Service Representative. As for responding to her put-down, I am (again) not sure I would have, but might have said–sarcastically- “so glad you are so perfect” and turned to talk to someone else. But most likely I would have just stood silently in line as I am a “D lister” to the nth degree….You should be happy you at least tried. The court of public opinion would have deemed her a B**** and felt pity for you….

    • ivytobin February 24, 2013 at 2:10 am - Reply

      Thanks so much for checkin out the Society and for your comments. Life is full of experiences that could make even the most empowered feel like a doormat. Granted, speaking to strangers is risky. Perhaps that’s why our parents always warned us not to.

      Thanks again for visiting my blog. Rose

  3. Anewlifeahead April 9, 2013 at 12:48 am - Reply

    I think it’s awesome you shared the Society, your growing fb audience and your blog with a stranger! Obviously the woman was beyond appreciating what wonderful help you offer people-don’t let that get you down and burning emotional energy-as I learned in a business I was once part of, ‘Some will, some won’t, so what?? NEXT!!’. You’re amazing, Rose

    • ivytobin April 9, 2013 at 1:58 am - Reply

      Hi ‘A New Life Ahead’. You made my night with your comments! I appreciate you taking the time to connect with me and offer feedback and support. I hope you’ll visit again. Remember: ya don’t have to be a doormat to be a member of ‘The Society’ ( but it helps) Thank you again. Rose

  4. Cathy Jo LaCross December 30, 2013 at 4:44 pm - Reply

    I’m not sure I would have shared… of course, I wasn’t there, so I don’t know what lead to you sharing. But, you did, and that’s OK, too. I have learned that not everybody has to share my point of view. I can share my ideas (or ideals) with you and you can disagree. And that’s OK. Yes, she sounds like a definite “A-List Bully”, but that’s HER problem. It only becomes MY problem if I let it. Pray for the poor lady… she needs an awakening! (I am so glad I found this “Society”. I share alot of your posts because I know a lot of people need to see them. I just pray they see themselves and have the desire to change!)

    • ivytobin December 30, 2013 at 9:07 pm - Reply

      Hi and thanks so much for your comment. I am an over-sharer as are many recovering mats. Over sharing with an ‘A’ List bully is risky because they just ‘don’t get it’. I appreciate your sharing my posts with your friends needing to stand up and speak out. Thanks again for your viewership. Rose

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